KEYWORTH FIREWORKS BLITZ MODERNS

Scoring 11 tries and converting 6 it sounds like a very one-sided affair but it was far from that and Moderns were always competitive and capable of scoring at any time, a feat they accomplished on 3 occasions.
It had started as any normal Saturday morning for captain Keith Scott, the anticipated 3 cry-offs and the faint hope that 2 others would show their faces at the club and be cajoled and sufficiently harangued into donning the black & amber. Moderns it seems were in similar mode and arrived at Keyworth with 12 men. A further two arrived by kick-off time which provided the home team with the luxury of fielding a full XV with a sub on the bench.

It was agreed to have ‘semi-opposed’ scrums, an arrangement built on trust that neither side would smash the other totally at the restart and create the need to go to uncontested scrums. This suited Keyworth who feared the pace of some of the Moderns students in the back line and preferred to wage war up front. Twas all for nought however, when the Moderns prop forward retired hurt after about 20 minutes into the first half and uncontested scrums became the default.

The opening score came on 12 minutes when Jack Hodges returning from the wilderness at fly-half neatly chipped through and finding no full back at home, gathered his kick and ran through for a try which Sam Tilaks duly converted. As Moderns pressed they managed to create a flowing backs move that swept them into the home side’s 22 and with the line at their mercy were prevented from scoring by a foul tackle by Tony Mee which earnt him the referee’s wrath and a 10 minute sojourn in the bin. From the ensuing penalty, Moderns second row blasted his way over to narrow the gap to 2 points.

Keyworth retook the lead on 25 minutes when after a great break by Callum Humphrey he was tackled high. The quick tap was taken by Sam Tilaks and he unselfishly put Alex Tsang over for his first try of the game. The visitors came storming back and were level at 12 apiece within a couple of minutes as their useful 10 jinked his way through the emmental-like defence.

In the last 5 minutes of the half, Keyworth added two tries to make it 24 – 12 at the interval. The first was that rare species, a Darryl Jones special. Picking himself up from 3 rucks previously he was unwittingly thrown the ball by a Moderns player just two yards from the visitor’s try line. Trundling over and attempting to get closer to the posts he caused a fearsome anticipation in the hearts and mouths of the other Keyworth players as it looked for all the world he would manage to somehow fail to score. Thankfully he touched down, followed by a Tilaks conversion and 3 minutes later the young legs of Tsangy ran 50m to score out wide.

The second half was weird, 7 further tries to Keyworth, one from Moderns in reply, a sin-binning for a second Keyworth player, John Scott, for a punch that everyone within a 15 mile radius could spot and a second Moderns player who left the field with an injury, then couldn’t decide whether he was staying off the pitch or not whilst Keyworth adjusted their numbers to ensure their numerical advantage was never more than one.

Keyworth scored within 2 minutes of the restart when Mark King bulldozed his way through Mod (that’s half of Moderns) to score with more hand-offs than a month of Sundays! The next went to Sam Tilaks after a break off the back of a scrum, from 40m out. Moderns rallied and penned Keyworth in the 22 for a while but an 85m run out of defence along the touchline by young Callum Humphrey to score broke the stranglehold.

Undaunted, Moderns 3s came again and crossed on 62 minutes when their hard-working No. 8 drove over, which, with the conversion, gave the Wilford Warriors their 19 points. However, with only 25 players now left on the pitch, the gaps started to appear and it was Keyworth who exploited them fully with a brace of tries from Tony Mee and further ones for both Tsangy to complete his hat-trick and Sam Tilaks getting his second after a 60m footrush. Mark King managed a conversion with a drop-kick in front of the posts, amazingly and Sam got the other 5 conversions on the day.

Big thanks to the two touch-judges, Connor Mee and Steve Hale who both did a great job, which is more than can be said for the w*nk*r with the whistle! Surrounded by numerous other more qualified and better-sighted individuals on both sides he attempted to keep the game flowing despite the calls for “offside”,” knock-on”,” forward pass” coming with a regularity that a constipation sufferer could only ever have dreamed of. As always, Keyworth’s verbal indiscipline is a constant threat to their ability to win tight matches and they’ll need to work hard to mend their ways.

It was great to see the return of Wayne Jowett, who enquired after the game, why the 2nd XV were using the U12s shirts? Unimpressed by the answers, Wayne was pleased to hear that Felix Baumgartner had apparently mentioned that like the Great Wall of China, Wayne too was visible from space. Batcho also made it to the field for a cameo and there was a solid display from Tony Shanks. Zander at full-back made some good tackles but his lack of urgency when collecting rolling kicks was enough to have the QMC Cardiac Unit on stand-by for some of the Black & Ambers more senior members.

Mark Scott carried well in the loose and was strong at the breakdown and there was heartbreak for young Dougie Martin when playing on the wing, he did brilliantly to beat 3 defenders and crash over in the corner only to be denied his first try for the club by the cruel sound of the official’s whistle for a Keyworth infringement earlier in the move. Sheeny was the master of the restarts, catching 3 kick-offs and returning each with interest as well as having a few other trundles in the loose.

Man of the Match was Callum Humphrey for an outstanding try and for some superb work in defence. He never shirked a tackle, whatever the size of the ball-carrier and in one cracking encounter he managed to dispossess the Moderns outside half at the same time. This lad has a bright future as he learns the game from wing and outside centre.

There were a few candidates for ‘Dick of the Day’. Jack Hodges could have won it for finding touch 4 times from either just outside his 22 or from within his 22 when the ball had been carried back into the 22. Darryl Jones could have won it for kicking the ball towards his own goal line forcing Zander to touchdown for a 5m scrum but the winner is captain Keith Scott for paying the match fee of a certain player who hadn’t coughed up. No prizes will be awarded for guessing who.

All in all a good weekend for the Keyworth Club despite the 1sts going down 36 – 15 at Ashfield, the Bonfire night on Friday saw record gate receipts and a great take for food and wet sales. Thanks to all the volunteer team, Stimpson Catering Co and the support of Simon Richards’ company plus the work of Cav Keiran and Richo in organising the fantastic firework display this meant a very good return on the night and that a very large number of people enjoyed themselves.